If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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