Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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