I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
