they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I sprained my soul last night
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
