found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize