Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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