I wanna passion pit in your ass
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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