I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
