there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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