Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
