careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
