Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Porn is love you can see.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
