You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I stole a fireplace last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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