I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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