So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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