John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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