Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
