My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
