Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
