you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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