So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
