There is no way he is gay with that hair.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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