mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
