so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
