IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
