we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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