Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
