brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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