I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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