weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
