Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
