I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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