covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
