omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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