there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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