Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
