Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
