your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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