So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
