You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
