Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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