i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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