she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
