:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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