i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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