My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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