We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
