Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
