I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
