Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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