Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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