Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
