I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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