dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
