she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
