You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
