i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
