The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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