I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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