Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Someone shattered a urinal.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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