Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
