I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
