I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
