He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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